to jwgh's talk.bizarre writings
From: Jake Email: ST102315 at brownvm.brown.edu Date: 10 April 1995 Subject: Thin-Skinned Organization: Brown UniversityHe was one of them; you know, someone who is fundamentally well-meaning, a really nice guy who also happens to be totally annoying. The kind of guy who answers any questions in full, slightly condescending sentences and oozes injured pride at the slightest pinprick to his ego. The kind of guy who could say "Anyhoo" and mean it. But what can you do?
One thing I found especially irksome about him was that he refused to swear, apparently out of a misguided sense that it would offend others. When he approached a place where a swear might normally be expected, he would lower his voice slightly (as if he was getting away with something) and say something like "H-E-double-hockeysticks".
One day I was working with him, and something particularly pissed him off. He was ranting about it for a time, and worked himself up so much that for the first time ever I heard him swear. "That's BULLSHIT!" he said.
At that moment, a look of intense surprise crossed his face, followed by one of pain. His hair began to smoke, and suddenly his entire body spontaneously combusted, leaving nothing but a pile of ash and a singed, empty sneaker.
Could he have been an angel in disguise?
-jwgh
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"Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure
sign of a diseased mind."
(Terry Pratchett, Eric)