to jwgh's talk.bizarre writings 

From: jwgh at earthlink.net (Jacob Haller)
Subject: Telecommuting Hazard
Date: 23 Jan 2000
Message-ID: <1e4vh85.ycdv6vfv2d8uN%jwgh@earthlink.net>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
I telecommute. Virtually all of my communication on a day-to-day basis is via email, and I live alone. I do sometimes go out and socialize with friends, visit family, etc. but by and large I spend a lot of time alone--a state which has its points but is not entirely welcome and which I have started to think about ending.

But occasionally socialization is thrust upon me, and it reveals to me that social interaction can also be unwelcome.

I live in a neighborhood which is not really what I would call a good neighborhood. My apartment building is a beautiful old Victorian building which I like a lot, but there are occasional problems; like, for instance, there was a high wind a month or so ago which caused one of the windows in my bedroom to fall off; when I moved in there were roaches (which are either gone or in hiding now; either is OK with me); a hurricane passed by one day, and when during a lull I took out my garbage I was propositioned by a prostitute as I walked back from the dumpster. And so on.

For the past several weeks a white limousine has been parked fairly constantly in front of the building. It generally seems to be in good repair. It usually is parked illegaly (obstructing a crosswalk in a two-hour parking zone), but it never seems to have been ticketed. All in all I feel that it is in my best interests to be ignorant of the story behind the limo, and so far my ignorance has been unbroken.

Last week I was working away on my laptop; it was probably about 4:30 pm or so. There was a knock at the door. I opened it to reveal a young woman standing by the stairway. She asked me something about the limousine that I didn't quite follow; I had a vague impression that she was asking if I could get in touch with its owner. I said, "I don't know who owns the limo. I don't own it." She said that her uncle owned the limo and she wanted to visit him but he wasn't in, and could she use my bathroom? I said sure. She came in and took off her coat and jacket; then she came over and tried to kind of snuggle up against me, but it didn't really work and she started wandering over to the bathroom. I started to close the door but then thought better of it; she told me, however, that I didn't need to be nervous and I could close the door. I did so and went into my room to do some more work.

She came into my room (combination home office/bedroom) and asked me if I was calling the police, but I told her I wasn't. She said, "So this is your room" and casually flashed her breasts at me. I told her that I thought she should go and walked over to the door and opened it. She asked me if I liked women and if I thought she was ugly. I answered (truthfully) yes and no. Finally she left after collecting her coat, saying that she wished I wasn't so nervous and requesting that I not call the police. I said I wouldn't.

For some reason I had difficulty concentrating after this episode, and I decided to take the rest of the evening off from work. I did log back in around 10ish and worked for about another hour.

There are some people who do not understand this story. They ask why I did not have sex with this woman. I do not have a ready answer for this. Well, no, actually I do; it goes something like:

"Have sex with a complete stranger who claims to be closely related to someone who lives in my apartment building (which is in a bad neighborhood) and keeps a limo parked outside illegally for weeks at a time? What possible downside could there be?"

But I feel that that answer is somewhat misleading. I think that the real answer goes something like, "Because, for better or worse, I'm the kind of person who, when a random stranger appears at their door asking if they want to have sex with them, asks them to leave." (Or perhaps it's my dormative virtue. You be the judge.)

This story has no moral.

-jwgh 

-- 
"Sort of makes you long for the days when humanity was just one simple
little button push away from nuclear devastation, doesn't it?"
         - Gary Cooper, alt.tech-support.recovery 9/20/96

to jwgh's talk.bizarre writings