Surge is (was?) a soft drink marketed by Coca Cola to compete with Mountain Dew. Jeff Vogel also posted several parodies of the original Surge commercials.


Date: Tue, 30 Jun 1998 11:21:07 -0400
From: Jacob Haller <jwgh@earthweb.com>
Subject: unfortunate confluence of two preoccupations

SCENE: 38th floor of a office building in front of the elevators. A MAN dressed in the casual business style is waiting for an elevator, sipping an unseen liquid from an unlabeled cup. The elevator doors open and the MAN enters.

CUT TO:

close-up of ELEVATOR CABLE. It's frayed and doesn't look like it'll hold together much longer.

CUT TO:

ELEVATOR INTERIOR. The MAN is still sipping the liquid. A tremor passes through the elevator, causing a few drops of the liquid to spill. The drops are fluorescent yellow. The MAN looks up.

MAN: (shouting) SUURGE!

CUT TO:

ELEVATOR CABLE snapping, then shot of ELEVATOR from the top. It's descending very quickly.

CUT TO:

Interior of ELEVATOR. It's clearly falling. The MAN is jumping up and down, causing more of the fluorescent liquid to splash out of the cup.

CUT TO:

33rd floor, same building. Another GUY is waiting for an elevator while reading a newspaper. He doesn't notice any of the following. Both the up and down elevator buttons are flashing. There's a windy sound, as of an elevator falling by.

MAN: (from inside elevator) SUURGE!

The GUY looks up, startled.

CUT TO:

Interior of ELEVATOR. The MAN is still jumping up and down. He's clearly freaked out, but just as clearly he's starting to enjoy the adrenaline rush.

CUT TO:

The BASEMENT of the building by the elevator doors. A large CRASH is heard and DUST falls from the ceiling. A trickle of the fluorescent liquid comes between the still-closed doors.

MAN: (weakly groaning from elevator interior) Ssuurrge...

CUT TO BLACK.


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