to jwgh's talk.bizarre writings

It turns out that Brian Rapp beat me to this basic concept by a couple of years. 

From: jwgh at earthlink.net (Jacob Haller)
Subject: FTSD: Language Blues
Date: 1 Dec 1998
Message-ID: <1djdqm9.ko9iqx1mqqxayN@1cust80.tnt35.nyc3.da.uu.net>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre

[Sung to the tune of whatever works for you. An approximation to Memphis Minnie's 'Nothing in Rambling' should work OK.]

I've learned so many languages

I really feel quite learned
But if I every try to use them
I consistently get burned

REFRAIN:

I've got the language blues

Makes me so sad and confused
Can't tell my direita from my esquerdo
I just can't shake these language blues.

Perhaps I get them mixed up

Would that be such a shock?
Do you know if "guten abend"
really translates as "let's rock?"

[REFRAIN]

Now when I speak in Spanish

I'm as conf'dent as can be
So when I say "Lo voy a matar"
Why do people avoid me?

[REFRAIN]

I'll say when wooing French belles:

"Direz-moi, que pensez-vous
De la situation mondiale"
When I just mean "I love you"

[REFRAIN]

[kazoo solo]

"Soy capitán" if you get me

(but I kind of doubt you do)
Mon pamplemousse est noir et blanc
So if you can help me, please do

REFRAIN:

I've got the language blues

Makes me so sad and confused
Can't tell my cul from my oreilles
I just can't shake these language blues.

-jwgh 

-- 
"Sort of makes you long for the days when humanity was just one simple
little button push away from nuclear devastation, doesn't it?"
         - Gary Cooper, alt.tech-support.recovery 9/20/96

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