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From: jwgh at earthlink.net (Jacob Haller)
Subject: Imperfect Crime
Date: 20 Jun 1999
Message-ID: <1dtpxzh.1btls2frsbxriN@sdn-ar-002riprovp181.dialsprint.net>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
I wish I could commit the imperfect crime
So flawed I would always be caught.
I'd try to rob banks and never make a dime
My exploits would all be for naught.

Others always think about all the details
But that's not the crime plan for me;
I don't care for success, it's how much that I failed
That would just make me chortle with glee.

While the cat burgler saunters along the rooftops
I'd be tripping alarms left and right;
Though you might think it foolish to attract the cops,
Just think if you will of the sight:

There'd be judges and lawyers and guards by the bus
To make sure that I wouldn't flee
It's amazing to think that there'd be such a fuss
Over small insignificant me!

[cor anglais solo]

Though the tip of the top is amazingly great
I much prefer low of the low;
It's so random, this dislike of the second rate,
This preference for friend over foe.

So I wish that I'd commit the imperfect crime
And be captured, in chains in a cell;
But alas my desires are doomed to be stym-
ied; I just seem to plan them too well!

-jwgh

-- 
"If Americans treated dead people the way they treat dead computers, 
their basements and closets would be cluttered with family corpses."
  --Carey Goldberg, 
    "Where Do Computers Go When They Die", New York Times 12 Mar 98

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