One of the more interesting items was what they described as a "life-size, simulated male". From the picture it looks kinda like Don Johnson from his Miami Vice days. You're supposed to use it/him to scare off potential carjackers or burglars, apparently; I guess the idea is that if you can intimidate Don Johnson into sitting completely still you must be a force to be reckoned with.

Are there any advantages to having a simulated male instead of a real one? The ad copy doesn't really go into the issue, but reading between the lines one can see a few advantages:

1. The simulated male has a positionable latex head and hands. I don't know that real men can be described in this way.
2. The simulated male is made of the highest-quality PVC vinyl. I speculate that this implies that perhaps normal mens' ingredients are not of the highest quality.
3. The simulated male can be dressed according to your own personal style. 'Nuff said.
4. "When not keeping vigil over your well being, deflate, store and transport him inconspicuously in the optional tote bag." That is, you only have to deal with him when you need him for something; at other times he can be kept out of the way, and you only have to worry about storage space (he requires much less storage space than a real man, too, weighing only 7 pounds and fitting into a large duffel bag).
5. The simulated male "comes with a repair patch". While real men have the advantage of the self-healing apparatus evolution has equipped us with, it's probably messier and slower than slapping a repair patch on.

-jwgh