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Message-ID: <1fo7hjq.5v2yc65rz0kzN%spog@jwgh.org> Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: What's Wrong With "It's A Wonderful Life"? From: "Jacob W. Haller" <spog at jwgh.org> Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003 10:55:29 -0500
Eli M. Balin <elibalin at panix.com> wrote:
It would be a much better film if Clarence was a giant robot who could fire missiles out of his fingertips, if George was a brain in a jar who was drawn about by a team of trained snails, and Mary had six arms and the body of an emu. The movie would be about the three of them living in the same apartment in Medicine Hat, Saskatchewan, and trying to make it in the fast-paced world of thermal duct deployment.
OK, here's my concept: "It's A Wonderful Necrotizing Life." Stay with me, people! See, it's the story of this disease that is confined to the pituitary gland, and every time it tries to leave the pituitary gland its criminal friends keep! pulling! it! back!, and finally it wishes it had never performed mitosis in the first place, but then a pig reveals that if the disease hadn't performed its simple actions of necrotizing love, a scantily clad Raquel Welch and the evil clone of Tom Baker would have taken over the body and wiped out all disease FOREVER! The disease then takes back its wish and goes around explaining the miracle of springs to all and sundry, leading to a heartwarming ending where people unsuccessfully try to frighten away evil spirits and the pig gets its wings.
-jwgh
--
"I still wish I looked like Shania Twain. And sang like somebody else."
- Paula <mmmtoblerone at earthlink.ent> in alt.religion.kibology
9 Dec 2002 <1fmw7bm.1uzgtrw1dvbxm4N%mmmtoblerone@earthlink.ent>