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Message-ID: <1ezdvum.921sm8zrynr8N%jwgh@earthlink.net>
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: Waaah!
From: "Jacob W. Haller" <jwgh at earthlink.net>
Date: Fri, 7 Sep 2001 21:40:59 -0400

Darla Vladschyk <DarlaVladschyk at hotmail.com> wrote:

On Fri, 07 Sep 2001 20:29:57 GMT, jwgh at earthlink.net (Jacob W. Haller) wrote:
Joe Manfre <manfre at flash.net> wrote:
Tamara (tamaraharris at sprint.ca) wrote:
Thank you Joe!! THANK YOU!! I have actually been looking for these for DAYS and I couldn't remember where to find them.

~T (a Google Image search on "Delaney" is useless. Me? Stalker? Nahh.)

Speaking of which, do you have any explanation for THIS? http://www.w3px.com/poems/1996/1996_08/week_4/pxp03588.htm
Is it just a "mistake" that this pome is shaped like a peanus? Sort of?

As a certified Sensitive Poet, let me assure you: There are no accidents.1

Also, "orgasiming" is not a word. 
  Let us frolic together
        me and you
You
         with your grammar
  and knowledge
                     of spelling
and me
               with my ignorance of the tab key2
and my sensitive soul
 and my shirts, soaked
                       in the sweat of my maleness3
              Let us go to Burger King
for a burger and some fries
                   And then to McDonald's for one
  of those little apple tart things4
And then return to our              homes
                       (respective)
            sated, for once.

(Next you'll be telling me that "errect" isn't a word either.5)

But hey! Pomes!

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like there's nobody watching.6
Or your theories will be cursed like Kurt.7

-jw'perhaps watching So I Married An Axe Murderer was not such a great idea8'gh 

-- 
"Some people spend more time planning the wedding than they spend
married."
    -Rimrunner in talk.bizarre, 11 May 2000
          <slrn8hll87.isr.rimrun@drizzle.com>

Annotations

  1. OK. J. R. Whiteman wrote, There are no accidents, everything is planned. More generally, one of the conventions of bad romantic writing (or at least parodies thereof) is that everything (and in particular the initial meeting of two people who are to become romantically involved) is fated, no matter how accidental it might be seen.

    The site where the poem was originally found appears to be down, and the author asked me to take down the local copy of it I put, but the poem is formatted as a bunch of short, centered lines. Overall this forms a column of text of varying width. At the bottom of the column the width suddenly gets wider, then narrows to a point. It does look somewhat penis-like. (I was able to find a non-centered version of the poem which may give you an idea.)

    Peanus is a humorous misspelling of penis. Also, Dave Delaney is the name of an alt.religion.kibology regular who is presumably a different person from the Dave Delaney who wrote the linked-to poem.

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  2. All lines of my sensitive poem were placed using spaces. No tab keys were harmed during the creation of this sensitive poem.

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  3. Paula (another Kibologist) had recently revealed on alt.religion.kibology that she likes the smell of unwashed men's shirts. Eventually a kibologist mailed her a couple.

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  4. Another topic which had been discussed recently on ark was that some kibologists like to go to several different fast food places to assemble a meal.

    In Paula's very entertaining response to this message, she objected to the idea of going to McDonald's to pick up tarts.

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  5. Both orgasiming and errect are misspellings that appear in the linked-to poem.

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  6. Darla had Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. (a quote from Satchel Paige) in her signature.

    This little poem is overly cute and I'm kind of sorry I wrote it. Ah well.

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  7. Kurt Stocklmeir is a net.kook who frequents a bunch of newsgroups, usually ones related to physics. He often talks about his physics theories being cursed.

    He's popular on alt.religion.kibology in part because his writing style is very stylized and fun to imitate.

    A typical Kurt quote:

    God created a curse against all my theories. They are cursed like the ark and stones. They came from God. God is pure. Those theories are pure. There is not 1 person who is good to the amount that they can know them. It is fair that 1 my theories curse and doom a person if they know it. It is a lot worse if they talk about it.

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  8. So I Married An Axe Murderer is a 1993 movie that starred Mike Meyers. A few times over the course of the movie the main character goes to a coffee house and performs sensitive poetry he's written about why his most recent relationship didn't work out.

    While it's true that I had recently seen So I Married An Axe Murderer when I wrote this message, a more direct inspiration was probably Jeff Vogel of talk.bizarre fame.

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