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Message-ID: <1ewaayc.1a7usoy1y731aoN%jwgh@earthlink.net>
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: Introduction?
From: "Jacob W. Haller" <jwgh at earthlink.net>
Date: Mon, 9 Jul 2001 15:39:40 -0400

Smari P. McCarthy <spm at secret.archives.is> wrote:

Interesting concept, but I don't know much about Kibology, so it would be quite nice if someone would give me a few pointers as to what I'm dealing with here, wether this is a cult or a way of life (or both).
It looks like you've gotten more than a few 'pointers' (IYKWIM AITYD1) as to 'what' you're 'dealing' with 'here'. Here's some other random ways to 'enlightenment'.
  1. http://www.kibo.org/ or http://www.kibo.com/. Choose wisely.2
  2. Many Kibologists are BITTER. So that is one way to enlightenment. Another, deceptively different, way is to be NOT BITTER.3 Choose foolishly.
    Actually, it looks like you have chosen the BITTER route, which is fine. You're allowed.4
  3. Why did Kibo go to Boston?5
  4.  
Explain like you would to a athiest, because that's what I guess I am.

I'm athier than most, but I wouldn't say that I'm athiest.6

(First runner-up for lame comment about the above line: "So I guess you're agnoatheistic, then?")7

-jwgh 

-- 
"If Americans treated dead people the way they treat dead computers, 
their basements and closets would be cluttered with family corpses."
  --Carey Goldberg, 
      "Where Do Computers Go When They Die", New York Times 3/12/98

Explanation of the jokes8

  1. This stands for "If you know what I mean (and I think you do)." It indicates that something that could remotely be interpreted as vaguely sexual in nature has just been said. Here it's basically used to confuse the newbie (being confused is good!) and get a cheap laugh. The 'quotes' around random words mimics the misuse of quotes to indicate emphasis that you sometimes see on hand-lettered signs and the like.

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  2. For various reasons, many people stop into alt.religion.kibology to ask what kibology is. (Traditional etiquette on USENET is that you're supposed to read a newsgroup for a while before posting to it, largely to make sure you don't ask a frequently asked question or otherwise inadvertently cause offense. Unfortunately, this rule is often violated.) The result is that the denizens of alt.religion.kibology have come up with a bunch of standard answers to the question and continue to try to come up with new, more entertaining ones.

    The kibo.org/kibo.com/choose wisely answer is one of the standard answers. It's mostly used when kibologists get sick of saying $20, same as in town, which is an even more standard answer.

    The kibo.org people have nothing in particular to do with Kibo. The joke comes from thinking what alt.religion.kibology would be like if it were inspired by a Japanese jewelry company instead of James Kibo Parry.

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  3. Various kibologists have had legendary or semi-legendary problems with ex-spouses or employers. Often when describing or referring to these problems they will proclaim themselves to be NOT BITTER!!!! On the other hand, many kibologists are bitter about one thing or another. Many of the same people are members of both groups.

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  4. One of the tenets, possibly the main tenet, of Kibology is that You're Allowed. (There are exceptions to this rule. Notably Spot is Not Allowed because he's only a dog.)

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  5. This is based on the Zen Buddhist question Why did the Bodhidharma go from India to China? Kibo does in fact live in the Boston area.

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  6. Basically this is a spelling flame. "Atheist" is spelled with "e" before "i".

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  7. An atheist believes there is no God, an agnostic isn't sure if there is one or not. So if you're not sure if you're an atheist or not...

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  8. Matt McIrvin is proverbially known as the guy who explains people's obscure jokes and references (especially Kibo's). Here's an example. I've ripped off the concept for my own a.r.k. pages, including this one.

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