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Message-ID: <1fvtk35.dj6enzovzyn2N%spog@jwgh.org>
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
alt.fan.beable
Subject: Re: I fired the beer man!
From: "Jacob W. Haller" <spog at jwgh.org>
Date: Sat, 31 May 2003 10:46:32 -0400
Beable van Polasm <beable+unsenet at beable.com.invalid> wrote:
If you're going to assume that everybody who gets paid a lot is a good person and deserves respect, and everbody who gets paid little is undeserving of respect, then doesn't that mean that you should be sucking up to Bill Gates and various sportspeople and actors all the time?
Nononononononono. See, here's how it goes.
Hey, Bill Gates! Gimme a beer!
Here you go!
Hey, this beer is warm! And American! And you didn't genuflect properly when you gave it to me! And you get paid seventy million jillion gazillion dollars a second! Wow, my expectations for the service you provide were vastly greater to what you actually did provide! I am going to complain to your employer, who hopefully will take appropriate corrective action!
[Bill Gates whispers into his cell phone. Shortly thereafter, hired goons rush into the room and kill h1dd3n_ham$72r.]
BRAAAAAAANEZZZZZ.............
And what happens if one day somebody has a job as a high-paid executive or something, so you like them, and then the next day they don't have that job any more for some reason. Do you then have to scorn them? "Oh yeah, YESTERDAY I thought you were a good person because you were getting paid $5 million per year, but today you have no job so I HATE YOU!"
See, AGAIN you misunderstand, Mr. van Polasm if that is your REAL NAME! Here's how THIS one plays out:
Hey, incredibly wealthy plutocrat! Sell me a nice piece of working software!
Fuck off, loser.
Waaah, my expectations have been crushed! I will try to get you fired!
[The next day:]
Wow, it's an unemployed, completely broke plutocrat! Got any beer?
Eh, no hard feelings, I was kind of out of line. Here, have a beer.
Wow, you're not getting paid anything, but you're providing service of a sort! My expectations have been greatly exceeded! Thanks!
Yeah, whatever.
[g14nt_s1g takes a swig of beer, discovers it is actually wee-wee, does a spit take.]
I HOPE YOU HAVE FOUND THIS ENLIGHTENING, MR. VAN POLASM. AND IF YOU DIDN'T, WHO CARES? I'M NOT EXACTLY GETTING PAID FOR THIS HAW HAW!
-jwgh
--
........................................................................
"At the time of the story there was a pirate. I guess sometimes the
pirate would keelhaul a guy. I am not talking about keelhauling. The
pirate had a sterring wheel sticking out of his fly. I guess the
sterring wheel was probably small.
"The pirate who had the sterring wheel sticking out of his fly went to
a bar. I guess the bar did not have many boys and girls in it at the
time. The pirate probably asked for beer. The bartender saw the
sterring wheel. Probably the bartender did not know what the sterring
wheel was for.
"The bartender asked the pirate why he had a sterring wheel sticking
out of his fly. The pirate said that it was driving he nuts. I am not
talking about nuts."
-Kurt Stocklmeir:
"Dear Life In These United States"
September 3559, 1993.
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spog@jwgh.org http://joebay.org/