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Message-ID: <1fxiq8p.5f89nn1rbrzqN%yoof@jwgh.org> Subject: Re: So many dead birds, so little time? Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: "Jacob W. Haller" <yoof at jwgh.org> Date: Thu, 3 Jul 2003 11:34:35 -0400
Joe Manfre <manfre at world.std.com> wrote:
I've been seeing a whole lot of dead birds on the ground in the past few days. Well, at least more than I usually see -- I know I've spotted three or more dead birds in the past week, when normally I see maybe one a year, if that many. Remember, I live in a big urban area and don't have a tendency to go tromping around in the woods or anything; these birds were all found dead on the pavement in my neighborhood.
Have there been a lot of weddings around recently? I heard that birds eat the confetti that people throw at weddings, but they can't digest it, so they just eat more and more until they DIE! That's why more 'eco-sensitive' people throw rice at weddings, instead of the traditional confetti.
Contrary to common perceptions, the ritual of throwing confetti at weddings is of comparitively recent origin; it's the result of a massively successful marketing campaign started in the 1890s by confetti giant DeBuels.
You may have read recently that OPEC is investigating DeBuels following reports of the horribly inhuman conditions in the infamous Icelandic confetti mines where most of their product comes from, so perhaps the era of the 'pristine confetti wedding' is almost over. It'll be interesting to see what weddings look like in thirty-eight years!
-jwgh
--
"When then meatbot revolution comes, you will be the first against the
grill of the House of the Future's indoor barbecue."
--Brian 'Jarai' Chase on alt.religion.kibology 3 September 2002