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Message-ID: <1fyj22k.l4u3ve9s7mg0N%yoof@jwgh.org>
Subject: Re: Terrible haiku
From: "Jacob W. Haller" <yoof at jwgh.org>
Date: Wed, 23 Jul 2003 02:22:23 -0400

Ben Wolfson <wolfson at uchicago.edu> wrote:

In his sweet hammock
The imperialist lies
Amid fallen leaves

It's against the war, y'see.

The haiku may be terrible, but the commentary is EXCELLENT! More poets should do this.

Here are some more examples of what is possible through the power of POEM COMMENTARY!

Pome:

   The    slow
    morning       sun rises

  too --- --- but! not
    for thee.

Commentary:

Is that how that is supposed to go? I haven't read any Hemmingway since high school. Actually, i think I just read the Cliff's Notes.

Pome:

 I like
        to eat
               bacon
for breakfast be-
        -cause
                I
         like
  b
   a  and
    c  bacon is
     o  good for breakfast
      n
 and         have
     I    to     bacon
       like        for
            breakfast
           so
  you should come by for
    b r e a k f a s t
     and we can have
        B*A*C*O*N

  because I like bacon for
         breakfast
   and I think you will
      like it so you

      should come by
    for breakfast and
        have bacon

 because you will like it.

Commentary:

This makes sense.

-jwgh

-- 
"When then meatbot revolution comes, you will be the first against the
grill of the House of the Future's indoor barbecue."
     --Brian 'Jarai' Chase on alt.religion.kibology 3 September 2002

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