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Message-ID: <m2snbsc2by.fsf@localhost.earthlink.net>
Subject: Re: another article that doesn't live up to its headline
From: Jacob Haller <jwgh at localhost.earthlink.net>
Date: Mon, 05 Nov 2001 21:52:55 GMT

"Chris Franks" <chris_franks at agilent.com> writes:

I can make them in MS Word with no problem, but how do I manipulate my keyboard so that it will "do" bullets?

Get 'em both really drunk! HAW HAW C00TER!¹

Here are some other ways to make bullets appear on your screen.

* GET A MAC² and use option-8.

- Use an asterisk or a dash or some other bullet stand-in.

! Cut them out of contruction paper and paste them to your screen. Don't eat any of the TASTY, TASTY paste!

@ Just use Word for everything. Or do you want to make baby Bill Gates cry?³

# Call something else a bullet and use that instead. If someone challenges you, ask them who makes up these terms anyway and why you should accept their terminology. Accuse your inquisitor of oppression. Eventually he or she will give up and go away. You get bonus points if you use the phrase "OCTOTHORPE, MY ASS!" at least once.

$ Just leave them out, and if anyone asks you about it, look at them oddly and say, "You mean you can't see them?"

<img src="bullet.png" alt="[YUOU'D SEEE A BULLETT HEAR IF UR WEB BROWSER DINT SUXOR]">

-jwgh

-- 
"Today's programming lesson is brought to you by the operators := and *,
and the word BEGIN."
   -Paul Martin in alt.sysadmin recovery 5 March 2000

Annotations

1. Cooter is ARK slang for...well, see the first recorded use of the term (from August 1998) to find out. Use of "HAW HAW COOTER" to indicate that one has said something "funny" and "risqué" dates from shortly after that.

   back

2. I've discussed "GET A MAC" elsewhere.

   back

3. The "make Baby x cry" meme appears to date from around 1998.

   Supposedly some religious parents tell their children that if they do (or don't do) something, they will make Baby Jesus cry.

   back

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