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Message-ID: <1f71jz8.14su1eofm9l76N%jwgh@earthlink.net>
Subject: Re: Hammond confirms Gamow's "Mr. Tompkin's World"
From: "Jacob W. Haller" <jwgh at earthlink.net>
Date: Mon, 04 Feb 2002 00:11:42 GMT

See:

http://people.ne.mediaone.net/ghammond/Psych-dilations.html

(fast loading, 1-page)

Brain Growth increases intelligence as is well known from increasing intelligence (mental age) during childhood.

Also, correlation proves causation.¹

Also, Mental Speed has now been securely identified as the dominant component of Intelligence.

Additionally, Mental Speed has been defined in a precise, noncontroversial way that everyone agrees on.²

What this means is that if an adult experiences an incremental growth of the brain, the world will literally "slow down".

If an adult experiences a non-incremental growth of the brain, it's a tumor and should be literally "removed".

Also, quotes literally "indicate" that "the thing being quoted is not to be taken literally".

Alternatively, if one identical twin is more fully grown than the other,

then the twins are not identical, yielding the sought-after contradiction! Q.E.D.

he will see a "slower world" than the other.

A world of Sunday afternoon drives and PBS newscasts. A world where happiness grows on trees and all dogs are friendly. Where all the children are from Minnesota and all the septic tanks are below average.³

Now, even though both of them agree that using a ruler and a clock that a car is going exactly 30 mph,

For that kind of precision I would suggest that instead they use a burette and a clawhammer.

one twin thinks it is going "fast" whereas the other twin thinks it is going "slow".

Coincidentally, I always get stuck behind one of these bozos in traffic! HAW HAW! Thanks, you've been a wonderful audient.

The reason for this is that brain growth in Psychometry Space acts mathematically exactly the same as Gravity in Real Space,

And they both act the same as durian jello and brussel sprouts in Coo-Coo Space!

so that the two twins are experiencing different "gravitational time & space dilations". Their "personal" clocks and ruler are running at different speeds and have different lengths. Of course the clock on the wall and the ruler on the desk are measuring the "proper" time and length, which they both agree on.

Since the clock and ruler are not in either of the twins' frames of reference, OF COURSE they agree on what they look like! DUH!

The same effect exists for "size".

Especially after you've been swimming!

The better grown twin sees a "smaller world" than the poorer grown twin, even though both of them agree that a tape measure shows a car to be 16 feet long,...

With a spiked high heel smashing down on the gas pedal!⁴

again, one twin thinks the car is "very long" and the other "not very long".

The third twin thinks that length is unimportant and width is REALLY what you should pay attention to.

But wait, there can't be a third twin! This provides the sought-after contraditiction etc. etc. etc.

This theory explains why someone who thinks of himself as "normal sized" may look like a "giant" to an ant and why the "giant" person can "step" on the "ant" and "kill" it. If someone would like to "perform" this experiment it might shed some "light" on the validity of this "theory". Thankyew.

Further, this "length contraction" exists for all 3-spatial dimensions separately, so that the "aspect ratio" of objects appear different to each twin...

The three spatial directions, for those who were wondering, are "north", "left", and "towards New Jersey". This proves that New Jersey is a black hole! I WIN!!!

Scoffers may claim that these directions are all in the same plane. To which I reply, you'd be right IF THE EARTH WERE FLAT!! I WIN AGAIN!!!

even though, using a ruler, they will agree on the "measured" aspect ratio. This by the way, along with the mental speed dilation, dramatically alters the appearance or "identity" of people's faces and is the fundamental explanation of the different face of humanity that we as individuals actually see... "our reality" as it were.

This explains the tragedy of combovers.⁵

The next version of this theory will attempt to explain beer-goggling through the relativistic effect of imbibing alchohol, which also causes dramatic changes in how twins see time, distance, and comedy.

NOT THAT I MEAN TO IMPLY THAT THE MINNESOTA TWINS ARE DRUNK OR ANYTHING.

In fact, analysis shows that this effect is indeed RELATIVISTIC, and in fact is caused by a "Curvature in Psychometry Space" which is caused by the curvature of real space via the differential 3-axis (growth) geometry of the brain (i.e. the Secular Trend in brain growth has 3 independent axes).

Rather than bore you with equations I'll just ask you to take my word on it. Have I mentioned yet that I've had an article accepted for a prestigious science magazine's April issue?⁶

Interestingly, George Gamow a very famous physicist wrote a story back in the 1940's about a guy named "Mr. Tompkins" who lived in a world where the speed of light was 10 mph:

http://vanadium.rollins.edu/~dario/phys230/Gamow/wonderland.html

(be sure to look at Gamow's interesting drawings)

In fact, there were 2 speeds of light, one for seeing, and one for causing what was seen (exactly the case we have here apparently, i.e. Proper World versus Psychological World).

So we SEE using the speed of light in the Proper World, while we CAUSE WHAT IS SEEN using the speed of light in the NAUGHTY WORLD. The CORRELASPONDENCE⁷ is EXACT!

Anyway, the book caused quite a stir at the time with it's diagrams of objects changing their aspect ratio and disagreements about events. Of course the reason it was so popular (and still is) is that any idiot can see the obvious inference that "Psychology" is actually somehow "Relativistic".

This also explains why [HAMMOND]'s theories are so popular. They appeal to idiots.

Please put down the apostrophe and step away from the car.⁸

Turns out Hammond (2002, in peer review) has in fact now SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN Gamow's early speculation.

The speed of light is ten miles per hour! It's just that the miles are really, really long and the hours are really, really short.

As Gamow did not suspect however, there is both an SR and GR dilation.

Also an UAR and a DAR. And a WOX WOX DOIDY.⁹

As usual, fact is stranger than fiction- for the effect turns out to explain "GOD".

Can GOD create a theory so complex it can explain him? But what of Gödel? WHAT OF GÖDEL?¹⁰

This relativistic variability in "Perception" has been known for thousands of years and is called "God".

Or occasionally "Hash" or "Shrooms". God isn't particular.

Of particular interest is the phenomena of "Repression", which can cause a startling effect when a "mental block" is loosed and pent up brain growth comes on line all at once (personality change). This causes the entire world to "slow down" and "get smaller".

Again, I am speaking "literally".

Most dramatically, it causes everbody else's face to change character, indeed identity, so that the person is literally in a new world. Historically this is the cause of "Miracles" so called, and is actually what the 1,300 pages of the Bible is all about.

The Ten Commandments should be interpreted metaphorically to literally be about "psychic plastic surgery".

Hammond (2002 in peer review) has shown that one can Factor Analytically identify the Metric of Real Space as the mechanical cause of the metric of Psychometry space and has proven therefore that actually, God=g_uv.

Look out! Didn't you know that every equation an article contains halves the readership?¹¹ Or, in symbolic terms, r = O(2^-E), where "r" is the number of readers and "E" is the number of equations.

The situation is even worse if the equations don't make any sense!

Fact is, not only does God exist, but God is caused by the spacetime metric itself.

The entire world is in fact worshipping the spacetime metric as the world's supreme Deity.

I would hope that this would give the more cautious and sober relativist pause for thought.

BTW, the title of my paper (presently in peer review) is:

SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE THAT GOD IS A CURVATURE IN PSYCHOMETRY SPACE

I'm sure you will be hearing all about it when it appears in print in a short while.

Unless it gets shot down in peer review, but what are the odds?

And remember, even if you didn't find this message funny, your drunk identical twin did!

-jwgh

-- 
'If any girls and boys see a car with CURSE OF ODU and a cross it is
probably me.  Say hi.' - Kurt Stocklmeir

Annotations

1. Hammond's implication here is that because children get smarter as their brains get larger then it must therefore be the case that an increase in brain size causes an increase in intelligence. While it seems reasonable that brain size would be associated with intelligence in some way, the general idea that because two quantities increase at the same time one must cause the other is a fallacy.

   Some abilities, such as the ability to learn languages, actually get worse as a child gets older. It would be ridiculous to conclude from this that larger brains cause diminished language skills, though.

   "Correlation equals causation" is the general term for this all-to-common fallacy.

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2. When Hammond refers to "mental speed" he generally seems to be talking about IQ scores.

   There is of course no widespread agreement on what intelligence is or how to measure it.

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3. NPR's Prairie Home Companion always features host Garrison Keillor talkling about the mythical Minnesota town of "Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children are above-average."

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4. This refers to a 1994 incident in which a guy posted the following request to a bunch of newsgroups:

   if you are a woman and love to drive fast and have a camcorder, i need your help! i'm filming a project and i need ideas. i need footage of a woman flooring the gas pedal. if you can help, write back and i'll explain the whole thing. thanks!

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5. Combovers look ridiculous, except, apparently, to the people who use them. It's possible that combovers do look good from exactly one angle, which is the angle at which you see yourself if you look straight forward into a mirror.

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6. Hammond had submitted a paper to a peer-reviewed journal and had high hopes that it would be accepted. In the end, it wasn't, but he was in a pretty good mood for a while there...

   Some magazines print 'joke' articles in their April issue to commemorate April Fools Day.

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7. I don't remember why I thought it would be funny to misspell "correspondence" like that.

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8. Hammond made a common spelling error. The possessive form of it is its, not it's.

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9. UAR I think I just made up. DAR stands for Daughters of the American Revolution. WOX WOX and DOIDY are nonsense words that pop up in alt.religion.kibology a lot. Doidy was coined by Kibo to sound vaguely like something a four-year-old would find obscene.

   The "SR" and "GR" that Hammond refers to are special and general relativity. I think.

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10. OK. The "Can GOD create a theory so complex..." thing is a variation on the classic paradox "Can God create a stone so heavy He can't lift it?" The reference to Gödel has to do with the idea that in order to create a model of a complex system you need another system at least as complex as the first, which has various unexpected consequences. (This result isn't due to Gödel himself, but is certainly Gödellian.)

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11. I've read the "fact" that every equation a book contains halves its readership in a few different places.

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12. Groucho Marx said, "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read."

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